brussels sprouts are a food derided by children and adults alike: they’re smelly despite they’re adorable size, and result in a cacophony of sounds post eating. they should probably be in the top five “foods not to eat on a date”.  on the rare occasions i get a night to myself to eat dinner in my pajamas on the couch, i usually opt for boxed macaroni and cheese directly from the pot, or a dozen roast brussels sprouts… not the most attractive thing to admit, so lets just keep that between us.

serving brussels sprouts at a dinner party would be an excellent way to clear the room, if you do not want your guests to stay all night. but when you are enjoying your guests, how does one remove the odoriferous properties from brussels sprouts? simply brown them in bacon fat and then cook them in heavy cream and maple syrup!

heart attack in cabbage form, you say?
worth it.

recipe: brussels sprouts (adapted from zak pelaccio’s sprouts)


1/2 lb. thick-cut bacon, cut in 1/4-inch lardons
36 brussels sprouts, trimmed, with outer 2 leaves removed, and halved
2 tsp. sea salt
12 chestnuts (roasted and peeled, broken into chunks)
3 garlic cloves, minced
6 sprigs thyme
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup new york grade-B maple syrup
1/2 lemon


1.  in a large sauté pan or cast-iron skillet, render the lardons over medium heat until they are a rich brown.

2.  with a slotted spoon, remove the lardons to a paper-towel-lined plate, leaving the rendered fat in the pan.

3.  toss the sprouts in the pan, season with sea salt, and cook in the bacon fat over medium heat for 1 minute.

4.  add the chestnuts, and continue cooking for 4 minutes.

5.  sprinkle in the garlic and thyme, and cook for another 3 minutes.pour in the cream, and reduce by half. season to taste. add the bacon, pour in the maple syrup, and give a squeeze of lemon juice. C

6.  cook, stirring, for another couple of minutes.

7.  remove from sauté pan with a slotted spoon. continue simmering the cream until a sauce of your desired consistency (approximately 5 minutes). pour over brussels sprouts.

8.  eat and enjoy!

* to make kosher, skip to step 3. first melting 3 tbs of butter in skillet, before tossing sprouts.